The only thing the I.R.S. has not taxed is the penis.
This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it's hanging around, unemployed.
20% of the time it's pissed off,30% of the time it's hard up,
10% of the time it's in the hole.
On top of all this, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.
Accordingly, starting January 1, 1998, penises will be taxed according to size!!
To determine the category, please consult the chart below and confirm this information of Page 2, Section 7, Line 3, of the standard1040Pform.
10 to 12 Inches* Luxury Tax $50.00
8 to 10 inches Pole Tax $30.00
6 to 8 inches Privilege Tax $15.00
4 to 6 inches Nuisance Tax $5.00
PLEASE NOTE: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST AN EXTENSION!!!
* Males exceeding 12 inches must file Capital Gains.